My Review of "Zombieland."

Okay, I know... welcome to last year, Scot.  Whatever.  I’m going to go ahead and say it. “Zombieland” is the best zombie movie ever made. Yes, even better than the 2004 remake of “Dawn of the Dead.” That was tough to say, since “Dawn of the Dead” was epic.

The thing with “Zombieland” though, is it doesn’t take itself very seriously, which is great because you can ignore questions like: “Where is all the electricity coming from? Is there a zombie-run powerplant somewhere keeping the grid online? How some he never runs out of ammo?” None of those kinds of questions bother you here, because of the tone of the movie. In fact, it’s almost a satire of zombie-movies in general. However, it is just serious enough to make you actually care about the characters.

The movie opens up with one of the best opening credits sequences I’ve seen in a very long time. It consists of ultra-slow-mo clips of people running from zombies (these are “fast-zombies,” by the way, not the slow ones of the 1970s) smashing, shooting, and killing stuff. When you see a guy in a business suit running from a zombie-stripper with bloody singles stuffed in her bikini in the first couple minutes of a film, you know you’re in for a good time.

Anyway, a movie--even a ridiculous zombie-movie--can’t be all headshots and explosions. You need a decent bunch of characters to pull you through. In this movie, you have the lead guy, who is a nerdy kid who’s paranoia, introverted-ness, and anal-retentive adherence to his own set of zombie-survival rules has kept him alive. He’s a lot like any character ever played by Michael Cera, except he has some unidentifiable endearing quality that makes you not want to run up and kick him in the dick. Oh yeah, and he plays WoW, so he the perfect loser.

Then there is the requisite badass female lead and her adorable kid-sister (played by the girl from “Little Miss Sunshine”) who will inevitably fall for our nerd-hero (the older sister, not the kid, you sick fucker.) Oops. Sorry. *** Spoiler alert*** Oh well... like you wouldn’t have called it 5 seconds after her introduction into the movie.

Woody Allen is in it too. He fulfills the role of “guy who beats the shit out of everything in his path” and is responsible for 90% of the movie’s awesomeness. Whether he’s destroying a zombie’s face with a banjo, or going apeshit on a minivan with a crowbar just because, he is the testosterone reservoir in this movie.

The plot is pretty boilerplate for a zombie-movie: a bunch of people, trying to survive, maybe trying to get here or there for whatever bullshit reason... It doesn’t matter. The characters have good chemistry, and there is copious amounts of gore, badassery, and dark humor.

I give “Zombieland” 9.5 crushed heads out of 10.